Hey Friends (:
– Alright, let’s be real. You feel like you are f*cking up on keeping your self care routine.
You’ve probably sat through countless YouTube videos on “the perfect self-care routine,” you’ve written it all down in your journal, and you were so excited to finally stick with it.
But then… a week later, you don’t even think about that b*tch no more.
She gone, she forgotten oop.
And now you sitting there mad and disappointed: “What the f*ck? Why can’t I do this? Why is this so f*cking overwhelming”
Ima just call it tell it how it is: if you grew up as a people-pleaser or in a home where your needs weren’t prioritized or even met, self-care routines are going to feel impossible.
Not because you’re lazy.
Not because you’re unmotivated.
And definitely not because you’re broken.
It’s because you were literally trained to put everyone else first — and no one taught you how to show up for yourself.
I used to think the same way — that putting myself last was the “right thing to do.” But it wasn’t.
What changed everything was realizing that some things have to be non-negotiable, and that learning to put yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s actual survival.
And if that sounds like a lot to unpack… PHEWW it really is. But stick with me, because this is where everything changes in your favor.
The Real Thing Stopping You From Being Great: Your Own Mindset
Babe, the biggest thing standing between you and a self-care routine that actually sticks… is what’s going on in your head.
You grew up in survival mode, with parents who put the load on you. You learned to make sure everyone else was okay, even if it cost you your own peace.
You learned to stay quiet, to take it, to swallow your needs — because that’s what kept the household running, or kept you “safe.”
But here’s the thing: that way of living is not normal.
It’s not healthy.
And it’s definitely not the definition of being a good person.
Somewhere along the line, you picked up this belief that you only have value if you’re being someone else’s doormat. That your worth comes from fixing, pleasing, or sacrificing for everyone else.
And if you’re carrying that belief into adulthood, of course a self-care routine feels impossible. You can’t pour into yourself when you’ve been trained to believe you don’t deserve the cup in the first place.
How To Actually Start Putting Yourself First
So, here’s what it is: if you want your self-care routine to actually stick, you’ve got to reframe how you see yourself.
You’ve got to stop waiting for permission and start moving like you’re already that girl. Self-care isn’t about forcing yourself into a 20-step routine, face masks, and journaling — naw babe, it’s about showing up with self-worth, self-confidence, and self-love.
So let’s rebuild that.
You’ve got to sit down and really look at yourself and believe: I am that bitch. I am not selfish for putting my wants and needs first. I deserve the same care and effort I give to others. Everything works out for me.
Then you move in a way that matches that energy. Unapologetic. Confident. For you — not for them.
And here’s the hard truth: when you start doing this, some people won’t like the version of you who finally puts yourself first and sets those damn boundaries.
From experience, those people wanted me to stay small, continue the people pleasing, stay quiet and tolerate it. But you can’t. You aren’t meant to be that person anymore. You have to stand on what you want, even when it hurts.
Boundaries are non-negotiable. Your future is non-negotiable. And so is the version of you that you’ve been silencing all this time.
Because honestly? Somewhere along the way, you lost sight of who you wanted to be.
It’s time to find her again.
This Is Your Sign To Stop Playing Small
At the end of the day, your self-care routine not falling into plan is not your fault. It’s been failing because you’ve been running on beliefs that don’t belong to you anymore.
It hasn’t worked because you were never taught to choose yourself first — and that’s exactly what you’re learning now.
And here’s the truth: you’re capable of showing up for yourself. You’re capable of setting boundaries, of putting your needs first, and of being unapologetically you.
Yeah, it might hurt at first. You might lose people. You might feel uncomfortable as hell. But what you gain is worth so much more: self-trust, self-respect, and the freedom to live the way you want. Trust the process.
So start small. One boundary. One ritual. One moment of choosing you. Because every time you do, you’re proving to yourself that you matter — and that’s the foundation of a self-care routine that actually sticks.
People won’t always like the new you, but that’s fine. Let them adjust or let them go hun. You’re not here to shrink for anyone’s comfort anymore. You’re here to stand in your own power now.