Heyy Friends (:
– Lately, I’ve been thinking about friendship and how it’s not always as simple as “being there.” Especially when life is lifing.
Like right now? I’m in this era of my life where I’m building my business, figuring out my life, and honestly, it feels like I have way too much on my plate. And with all of that, I’ve been low-key neglecting one of my best friends.
And I just had to get real and tell him:
“Hey, I love you, I think about you, but right now I am trying to get afloat. I know I haven’t been showing up the way I usually do, but you still matter to me and hopefully we can talk soon!”
Now babe, lemme tell you… That communication was everything.
Come to find out, being a good friend isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being honest.
Why Honesty In Friendships Matter
When life gets messy, it’s easy to beat yourself up for not “being there” enough. Especially if you are a previous people-pleaser like myself. But here’s the thing: pretending you’re fine when you’re not doesn’t actually serve anyone.
- It prevents misunderstandings. When you stay quiet, your friend might think you don’t care. But a quick check-in can clear that up.
- It builds trust. Honesty—even about your struggles—shows them that your friendship is real, not performative.
- It makes room for grace. Giving them the truth allows them to hold space for you the way you would for them.
Friendship Isn’t About Perfection—It’s About Presence
It’s not about showing up without flaws or always having the right words. It’s about letting your people know they matter. So:
- Send the quick text. It doesn’t have to be a paragraph. A simple “Hey, thinking of you” can go a long way.
- Be upfront about your capacity. Let them know, “I might not show up as I have before, but I still care.”
- Show up in small ways. Share a meme, send a voice note, or drop off a coffee on your way to work. Little gestures still matter.
- Lean into communication, not guilt. You don’t owe perfection. You owe honesty and effort.
Real Friends Appreciate Your Honesty
If you’ve ever felt like a “bad friend” because life got heavy, let me remind you of this: real friendships aren’t fragile. They don’t shatter the second you need space, and they don’t require you to drain yourself dry just to keep them alive.
We aren’t in high school anymore.
The right friends? They’ll understand. They’ll hold space for you. And they will love you not just when you’re fun and available, but when you’re messy, tired, and doing your best to stay afloat.
So send the text. Speak up. Be honest.
Because showing up imperfectly will always matter more than disappearing completely.