Howdy Friends (:
– So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my old self and who she was in relationships and why my current relationship feels sooo damn different. So different, I actually couldn’t tell at first that it is healthy.
And the answer to all if it is simple, but not always easy: communication.
Now don’t get me wrong—we haven’t always been like this. In fact, there was a time where I would just shut down completely.
I’d bottle up my feelings, swallow my thoughts, and convince myself it was better to just stay quiet.
My past taught me that silence was “safe.”
That if I made myself small enough, I’d keep the peace.
That if I didn’t speak up, maybe they wouldn’t leave.
But the thing is: Silence didn’t create closeness, it creates a distance.
Communication Is The Key To Building
Relationships aren’t something you build separately while just happening to stand next to each other. They’re something you build with each other.
And if you’re not talking literally about anything—about your needs, your fears, your desires—you’re just walking down two different one-way streets, wondering why you feel so far apart.
When you stay silent, yeah you may think you are protecting yourself. You may even think it keeps the relationship “easy.” But really, you start slowly disappearing.
And let me tell you, bottling that sh*t up don’t make them disappear—it just makes the problems pile. Until one day you explode or you burn out completely. And babe, neither option is cute.
Why Communication Helps Build A Relationship
Truthfully, the right partner will never make you feel like your needs are “too much.” To the right person, your needs aren’t even a damn problem—they’re the blueprint to loving you the way you need to be the bestest version of you.
- It builds trust. You can’t trust what you don’t know. When you speak up, you give your partner the chance to show up.
- It prevents resentment. Silent suffering always turns into bitterness. Talking it out clears the air before it gets toxic.
- It creates connection. The more you share, the more your partner actually knows you. And isn’t that the whole point?
- It shows self-worth. Every time you communicate your needs, you’re reminding yourself: I matter enough to take up space here.
The Right Love Will Make Space To Hear You
If you’re anything like me, maybe you’ve learned to stay quiet because of what you went through before.
Maybe you’ve been taught that your voice, your needs, or even your feelings are “too much.”
But trust: to the right person, you will never be too much.
You don’t have to shrink, and you don’t have to walk this road alone. Because healthy love IS NOT built on silence. It’s built on two people showing up, speaking up, and building something special together.
So speak the f*ck up. Even if your voice shakes. Even if it feels uncomfortable.
Your voice matters. And your relationship deserves to build off of it.