Hey Friends (:
– So I am just gonna be real, it’s been a rough couple of months for me with practicing my mindfulness.
My mind was either replaying the sh*t that’s already hurt me, or spiraling about some future that hasn’t even happened yet.
And being “present”? That sounds cute, but feels f*cking impossible.
I’ve read the posts, seen the TikToks on mindfulness, hell maybe I even tried meditating once or twice. But two minutes later I was subconsciously like, “nah shawty, let’s replay that argument from 2017.”
This sound familiar? This you too?
And let’s just be real, if you grew up escaping into daydreams, living in your own mind because real life felt unsafe?
Of course staying present feels hard as hell.
Babe, unfortunately that’s because your brain literally taught itself that being anywhere but here was safer.
That used to be your survival tool. But, and ima hold your hand when I say this, survival mode is not living.
And you deserve better than that.
It’s Giving… It’s Always Gonna Be That Damn Mindset
The biggest barrier between you and mindfulness isn’t discipline. And It’s not “trying harder.” It’s your own mind. It’s your internal beliefs.
When you grew up silencing yourself, people-pleasing, and dissociating your unconscious mind became the one in control. That’s the part of you that replays trauma, pumps out negative self-talk, and drags you back into cycles that don’t serve you anymore.
But here’s the thing: Though your unconscious mind may be a mad f*ckin hater a lot of times, your mind isn’t the enemy.
It’s just stuck in survival mode.
The real you — your conscious mind — is the one who can bring you back to the present and who can decide, “I’m safe now. And I choose better now.”
That distinction there? That’s the shift you needed.
Because if you don’t learn to tell the difference, you’ll keep letting the unconscious run your life — and babe, that’s why you feel like you’re losing yourself.
How To Actually Start Practicing Mindfulness
So, here’s the thing: you don’t practice mindfulness by forcing yourself to be “calm, zen vibes” 24/7. You practice it by retraining your brain to trust the now.
Here’s what I did that could work for you too:
- Catch yourself drifting:The second you notice your brain running laps in the past or future, stop. Call it out: “Nope, not today.” or my personal fave “Get the f*ck outta here”
- Ground yourself in your senses: What do you see, hear, feel, smell, taste right now? Pull your awareness into your body — that’s presence. I ground myself in the action I am currently doing in my head to help me with this one.
- Remind yourself you’re safe: Tell your unconscious: “That was then. Or that’s a worry for another day. This is now. I’m okay here.”
- Start small: One mindful breath. One mindful sip of coffee or your iced matcha latte. One mindful step when you’re walking. Do not try to fix it all at once. Take it slow.
And listen: This isn’t something that will come to you naturally.
I still find myself disassociating, yeah, but the idea is to catch your mind when it is falling down this rabbit hole and re-guide it back to the present moment.
You’re unconscious mind will always be apart of you, that doesn’t mean you have to listen to it.
You aren’t meant to keep living like that. You’re not here to survive on scraps of presence.
You’re here to live a life that is yours so take your whole damn life back babe.
This Is Your Sign To Stop Escaping Your Mind
At the end of the day, your struggle with mindfulness isn’t your fault. Your brain did what it had to do to protect you once.
But you’re not that person anymore.
Now you get to choose differently.
You get to choose to trust your conscious mind.
You get to choose to stop replaying old wounds and start building new memories.
And you get to choose to be here — not stuck in what was, not scared of what could be, and not terrified of the uncertainty.
And yeah, it is uncomfortable at first. You’ll want to procrastinate. You’ll want to numb out. But every single time you pull yourself back to the now, you’re proving to yourself that you’re safe, that you matter, and that you deserve to live fully.
So start small. One breath. One pause. One moment of awareness. Then build from there.
Because honestly? You’ve spent enough time surviving your mind. It’s time to actually live.